What happens to those who consider themselves as a slave of destiny
can’t be it’s an escape from reality? A tool use to blame upon when we have
done something terrible or wrong, didn’t even consider another duly viable
aspect of a situation which we fail to look upon and then all of the sudden catastrophe
appears in front of us in form of reality check. This is where we realize that
we are not as smart as we think of us, in contrary our defense mechanism starts
to defend our self esteem, in form of spectacular concept of Destiny, or we can
say what is written in our fate.
One fine evening I passed by from a cart of Books, and
people surrounded it with great interest, I stood by there and start observing
the subjects of books, there were several books some in urdu, some in English,
but never though I consider urdu as a language of convenience, because it has
many words which is sophisticated and equally hard to read and pronounce with a
flow. Naturally my eyes were wandering on English side. I must say those books
were price less, moreover interest of simple people, people from another side
were keenly interested in urdu books, I have seen books of Ashfaq ahmed and
Gaalib, only two writers I recognized. Book named “dajjal” (super satan) was
the book of interest for many people. And there were many copies of it as well;
in front of my eyes 5 potential buyers bought that book.
A sudden breeze of thought struck me, and it took me some another
world. I saw something unimaginable, I must say being a logical person that I am
suffering from serious problem, hallucination. As I have it before, I knew what
I am seeing is not real, and I know how to get out of it if I have to, until
and unless I lose my grip on to the reality I am safe in hallucination. A man
from far distant was running towards me, one hand up and another holding some
kind of book, I don’t think so he was signaling me until he came to me stop
nearby me, and handed over one book. I looked at that book and asked him what this
is? He disappeared. I knew at that time that I am hallucinating, so I didn’t mind.
I took the book and went to my office, I saw all my coworkers, working
accordingly, I looked at the clock it was 5 pm, people started to winding up their
work and started to punch there hand for off. I did the same and went home
after driving 1 hour. I was so tired that I can’t even go to take shower.
I dreamt something which I wished I wouldn’t have, it was
shaky blurry, but with some picture of books written on something about Satan “know
your satan” (theme of the book) and one person came to me and said “We all know
who is our Satan, don’t you?” I said “sir, I don’t know what you talking about”,
he continued with a smile “Son, with every second passing, though we know who
we are, when we are in anger, we know who we are, when we smile we know who we
are” he took a long pause stared in my eyes deep, as I saw in to his eyes I began
to know him, I started to feel that I know him, he is someone whom I always
wanted to know, meet and talk to. But who was he a question remained, some
pictures flashed before me, as he was trying to tell his story, it was sad, it
developed great sense of pain inside me, it was from some desert, and in other
glance I saw a boat against the waves. Something tragic has happened to him, as
I wanted more to know, he stopped, he began to say “We all know who is our Satan,
it’s we, ourselves” I startled about
what has happened to him, how he got to me, why he showed up what he has to me?
, and with same distress I asked “what is your story?, I know it’s sad, if you
want to share” he smiled, and said “my story doesn’t belongs to me, I am a
lover, lover don’t have their own stories, its belong to my beloved, if you
want to know my story go find my beloved, you cannot find my beloved in deserts
or in seas” as he concluded some weird image of that person started to build in
my head. And I said: “I know who you are” “you’re the great Rumi, who is in
search of his beloved “Shams””
“No iam not in search of Shams, we are one” and he continued
“it’s something different, and you know what I mean”
Yes I knew “God”
He never meant to be found, what’s left of him if we find
him, does fish ever find water? No…. because it’s inside water. How we can find
him?
“Kill your Satan” stated Rumi firmly.
