Life: It goes On

Continuation of In the Rain of Imagination http://shahzadrupani.blogspot.com/2013/11/in-rain-of-imagination.html

The best thing about life is; “It goes on”, in the middle of millions we all are trapped to find our identity, we create our own image out of selection from others behavior; I did the same for several years.

As in the center of identity crisis I started to watch out things as other people did. In summary I had lost my own identity in order to impress others. The worst decision and trust me there is no way out of it, you tend to copy others as and started negotiating with your inner self, settling for minimum bargain and then time comes when you not even bargain, because your inner self is dead till then . But I got my way out later on, as I said before; “change comes slowly and gradually”.

I had to stop thinking so subtlety and should take life as it comes; advised my friend with humor, but I could sense the seriousness between the lines, I had no issues with my life what so ever, but I could not stop my brain, I think 5 to 6 things at a time, processing it imagining it and materialized it with precision. It was just my nature from which I cannot run and I considered myself lucky to have this ability.

After 2 years I struck with insomnia, but this story doesn’t starts here, we all have faced this situation where life doesn’t make any sense, for a while we indulge in our life so immensely and used to of it that we don’t even realize what has to come, without complaining from the very start, we dwell our self into routine, and then entrapped into it, from home to school, and then school to play ground and home back again, world seemed to end on this note. But far beyond in time reality is waiting for all of us. Slowly it approaches us and suddenly with hammer it strikes and we become reaction less.

I had nothing but my good reputation with teachers in school, but it was on verge of destruction when I scored all time low grade in my study time. I had many excuses but deep down inside I knew that I had not done what it takes to achieve what I wanted to achieve. Well enough then I had to worry about my college admission, still a year left in school, in tenth grade, but result which affects most for admission in good college was of ninth grade. And I messed it up pretty well.