Floating Destiny

(To be continued. . . . First read:  http://shahzadrupani.blogspot.com/2011/08/hoshruba-zindigy.html )

I didn’t remember any thing till I turned 5, my conscious level was active now and much smarter then the previous one, then I turned 6, 7 and went on. Till my present age still four years from my end of teenage life, I was in 10^th standard.

But who cares, as I thought certainly in a moment and rugged the rubbish off from my mind immediately and ran to play football with my class mates, my section v/s another section, 90 minutes game and in school level it was really a big deal to win. 11 players each side 3 on benches, I got chance to play from kick off, wondered again: “this time will never come again”, “this is a time, Do or Die”. On the right side I had to play with ball more with techniques rather then emotions, as my captain urged and said “tackle, rubble, jump, do what ever you like to do with ball but kick hard to score”- “and I am not a scorer” considered I reluctantly.

Shortly time will tell who is good at what, next 90 minutes will going to be the most intensified one, thought I-

Match began and both teams were unable to score till 80^th minute, ball was with our finest attacker, but today he was unable to score any one. I had choice to make, I am not a chosen one, nor any vampire or a captain America, neither super or spider man, I was just “ME”, standing at my position as our defender went off due to injury I am then responsible for defending. Choices to make were:

1- Stand at the position as I were there for the past 20 minutes; or

2- Move forward as we had only 10 minutes left approximately to score a goal.

Obviously any ordinary prudent men can guess what I would have done next. I chose to leave my position and to go forward, as in consequences if any thing goes wrong just because of leaving my place, I’ll be goddamned in trouble, thoughts were rushing in light speed, I started running, and then I never think back about the consequence, because I was so enthusiastic, my heart was beating at sound speed, I could hear the beats, as more I ran towards goal, people started disappearing I could see only three thing, - a team mate with ball ready to kick, A ball and A goal, and suddenly I saw ball appeared just in front of my head, just a single touch, and I did it, ball with thunderclap netted in the goal, surprised their all of the defenders, they of course didn’t mark me, a keeper he didn’t expect me to come forward leaving my defending position.

A might goal, I was the scorer, every one out there were appreciating me, the moment of glory I was then a savior of team.

I couldn’t hold on that moment, as no one can, if I had not made that choice at that precise moment, I would not have enjoyed those moments of glory later on.

In every moment there are some choices hidden which leads us to the key from which we can unlock our potential. Its all about choices, grabbing opportunities, leaving one state to face another and enjoy those moments of glory that are hidden. Reflecting upon, I realized that we only have one life to live, only one life to spend, to hate, to love, to build, to break, to make mistakes, to learn from those mistakes, to be fearless, to be in fear, to be happy, or to be sad, remembering past, to enjoy present, and to search for the future quests, we all have one life, just one life.

Just like in a football ground, opportunity was floating out there in some distance, so many players, so many choices, just grabbed by one, just in time, a little late would be too late and little early shall perish all the surprise elements, so the step taken at the precise moment, destined you can say, but I would say the right step at right time, as the thought appeared in the mind, all things were started to arrange them selves in field, now I just had to respond, chain reaction started for which my mind was corner fed by my subconscious level with emotions apparently we all know it by name of Will Power. Will converted into thought, thought in to choice, choice into selection and selection in to action, after all that process what I got was the desire of my heart. A want .

(To be continued. . . . . .)

A Universal Want  

(Next chapter)       

We continue to Roam in our Thoughts.

First read: http://shahzadrupani.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-know-there-is-light-in-end.html

(Continuation of I know there is Light in the END)

When a person of ordinary diligence is referred to some extraordinary thoughts he became slave to that thought, some reasoning need to be satisfied, then after a minute or two or day or two his soul becomes your slave. That ecstatic thought slowly takes over their original ability to think over something new, creatively creative, or in other words something extra ordinary.

Reasoning in what ever sense is the most powerful tool a person can have, ideas rushing into mind have potential to change the world outside, and inside as well. But as for the beginning one must believe in himself, rather question about on his own ability to pursue goals, one must take first step to avoid the regret which felt later on at the stage when person realizes that if he would have taken that first step. The next thing is to believe that first step which has been taken is right, besides having all the problems which are encountered because of just that having first step, you must consider that these are all those problems which are deferred, over a life time, is facing by me in a sum and the future is bright, After all what doesn’t kills you make you strong. Basic system of belief then needed to be altered i.e. A Question “am I doing right?” Believe in your self, What ever your inner self is telling you is right for that stage where you are standing, because sooner or later  we all will find that we were sleeping and sharing the common dream and played our unconscious part well, but not well enough! In dreams, dreamer feel it like a reality, but in actual it is not, like wise considering this world a dream and we all are sharing one common dream then we must not be afraid of taking some stupid steps to pursue our imagination, because the only limitation is our own thought or imagination, that how far we could go.

We all in this dream share a common idea of death following our lives, and we all are travelling towards the light “The God”, but imagine the state of your daily dream, when we consider it a reality but after sometime because of any reason we realize actually we are in dreaming state, and we start having control over it, we alter all the happenings so fast and changes all the situations rapidly that we finally wake up, this is what in this world we are meant to do, or we have potential to do, by having a universal conscious, actually control the happenings of this great dream and then finally waking up in Light in between of the Tunnel.

This place is a dream. 
Only a sleeper considers it real.
Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing at
what you thought was your grief.
(Rumi)        

I know there is Light in the END.

I was standing in the middle of weird rush, people were running towards something, something bright , I guess it was light, every one around me, I looked at them, emotional and the only thing they worried about was reaching there as soon as possible. I was feeling like stranger in the hall way with minimum light, covered with darkness, so I dared to speak, or you can say dared to ask a question, and interrupted one person, of course who was running towards light, he was very polite man and I finally questioned him: “sir would you mind telling me where these all people including you going?” person replied: “son that light, you see it?”, “yeah”- I replied, “we all are going there”, and that person left.

But why they are running towards it? I can see their enthusiasm, passion, one person was running towards light with tears running down from his eyes, I thought, does he not more self contended in the journey? Will he be more joyous after reaching there? Or his joy will come to end slowly and gradually after living in there?  With sudden rouse of touch from a running person, I reflected that before in this darkness, like this were we in the light? And we all rushed towards darkness from light out of our enthusiasm? Or just because darkness was something new to us we cant resist to stop us for rushing to this place and now we, in this darkness, all are running towards this light just to get out of here out of boredom?, may be it is like this, and if it is like this then we are trapped in vicious cycle of eternal struggle to achieve a temporary happiness, because reaching either in light or in darkness gives joy for brief period of life.

But question is: “Is there any way out?”, so I decided to ask once again, this time a younger one, why are you going that way? I asked, he replied “Don’t you see there is light in the end of the tunnel?” “yeah I can see”, “so what you are waiting for? Run and get it” with sparkling eyes he advised me, but I reacted to his advice in totally bizarre way and replied: “I know there is light in the end of the tunnel, but what’s new in getting light in the end?”

He looked at me with total lost of thoughts, what did you say? I answered: “Nothing you go, and thanks for advise, have a save journey a head”, now my thoughts started to clear, it was light I wanted but not in the end of the tunnel, but in the middle of it.

We all search happiness in our future goals, we think by getting it we will find ultimate happiness, but nobody knows what to do next after achieving that goal? It’s like finding water or wadi in desert, but that’s not it, there’s always a whole new journey a head.

Journey satisfies Heart more, then reaching the “END”.    


(continue: http://shahzadrupani.blogspot.com/2011/08/we-continue-to-roam-in-our-thoughts.html )

Thoughts on Thoughts

Question remains the same: What man can do and what man can not do? Beside these question philosophies about great potentials have been written, believes of believers and acts of faith are being synthesized with Religious believes and personal believes of common people.

One person commits deed on which he feels good, and another person feels bad about it, the main reason for remorse in these time is the rigidity of minds, because people only sees what they want to see, and what ever they want to see is based upon their roots of origin of their thoughts. The question again arises that what are thoughts? And from where they are originated? Though the answers might seem to be simple, but, in its entire nature Thoughts are some what unexplainable, but we can try to understand it so that we can trace its origin. Imagine a person saying not to imagine a big mountain, so what came first in your mind Person, Mountain, or a person saying not to imagine Mountain? As per the nature of thought the origination of thought lays with the creator of the thought, means what ever you imagined are not your thoughts but some one else’s, like wise any thought or original idea is emerged with its definite source from outside, or you can say motivation from outside, so we can conclude that any thought or original idea is a resultant from the source of motivation. But story continues with the transformation of that motivation into a person’s own thought, the level where he believes that the idea was solely generated by him without tracing its origin. This is the next level where person’s pre conceive thought starts working. From this point a thought from out side is adopted by his own conscious level wholly without any doubt that actually it is motivated by some one else’s thoughts.

Now it doesn’t matters that thought is original or not because it has been adopted, like when person moves from one house to another, in new house he feels like visitor, even though he own the house, but as time passes when he adopts it, it becomes his part. Just like these thoughts are now settled in the mind, duly motivated, then self motivated, and developed in something new, then this developed thought is passed to some one else for whom first person’s developed thought become’s another’s core thought on which he will develop it according to his own pre conceive thoughts.

For this ending question remains the same that from where the thoughts are originated? Is there any flow of Universal Thought? Which is providing thoughts to the people which are flowed from one person to another until it is fully developed and exhibit it self at its fullest potential?  

Tomorrow’s Surprise, Today’s Gift

“What most of the people think about extraordinary things in their lives; is based upon their own perception of happiness”, said Professor Ezira Mikael, looking outside the window where the rain was pouring at its fullest.

“For me what’s happening outside this room is more extraordinary rather than what is going on here inside”.

We live in search of an amazing things, to have, people to meet, and lives to live, but we forget that we are living only one life and what will or happening is extraordinary in it self, because with each tick of second present is becoming past and moment lost forever, what’s happening today will never happen tomorrow.

Grab each moment of motivation, smile, relations, love, selfishness, happiness, sadness, compassion, enthusiasm, madness, tears, passion, regret, and even a moment of seeing each day yourself in a mirror.

For us this world and each passing moment is a gif, and every upcoming second is surprise. Live at the fullest, enjoy each emotion, of today and be ready to welcome the next surprise sentiments of tomorrow.

Ezira Mikael is a fictional character from my Novel story: “A Way to Enlightenment” (dated: 25^th of August 2005)    

Confession of Regret

I regret I have done so many terrible things in past, heard from my friend, for a while I thought its good that people realizes how terrible they are, what they have done in the past still bothers them and finally they thinks that they were not good.

But, wait a while, my mind started working in some other direction and a word struck to me was “REGRET” a cry over what we have done in the past or what we have not. The main reason for regret is all the time we suppose that we have made lots of wrong decisions. So what actually we are doing is that we just comparing our present scenario with our past. We keep doing this which slowly destroying our self esteem and then with no noise it further goes to destroy our self motivation, and finally we ruin our self just because of a simple miss handled regret.

To have not a regret is not a bad thing, it just keep you motivated, in reality which we are living is so full of negative charges that simply we can not see the brighter side, lets take an example of a flunked student, who is regretting over his performance, he have two choices then, have a regret and take it as a lesson, or another approach is to blame other factors, taking no lessons from past.

If we have any regret then we should take it as a chance to make it right, not just to cry over spill milk. 

To be continued . . . .  

Life As We Know It

There are many things which happen because they are just meant to be; the easiest way to avoid regret and the most stupid way to believe in God is that “Everything has been written”. We grow up and make mistakes, and then without any doubts and being repentant we put all the burdens of our wrong doings on the shoulders of God, without understanding Him, we make Him our everyday companion in our wrong doings without giving a second thought that He is actually a “God”.

Every time when we look upon ourselves we undermine the actual image of us, and the distractions lead us to where we doesn’t belong. For mean while we can take an example of a traveler who travels half of a world in search of fountain of youth, every time he thinks of his destination his eyes fill up with the sparks of enthusiasm and passion. This passion is what most us never able to recognize and it is just because of diversions of mind, some indulge into the never ending game of love and attraction and other just in achieving materialistic objectives, but never had a clear aim, Aim for me is just to have happiness and self contentment, and the most prolific achievement is for me is the next step to look forward for satisfaction, just like a traveler in search of fountain has an aim to reach his destiny and drink water from it. Lets assume in the next part of story that traveler reach their and now he is forever young, what’s the next? This is a question we never ask out our selves, we just run after things and then in the end we all achieve nothing, a satisfaction which doesn’t last forever is just a illusion in desert in the form of mirage, which gives pleasure on seeing it form distance but when we chase it for the sake of thirst we get to know it’s all the game of Sun.

There are types of people we can classify them:

1-For many people suffering is the main element of life and they firmly believe in suffering because it makes them satisfy in some unconscious level that it is from God and sufferings is just a integral part of it.

2-Some people under this point are those who are just after the search of love, they are attracted and then de attracted several times in the life, but they never lose hope to achieve their aim that is “a true love”

3-These are the people who run after all the materialistic elements in life, further need not to be explained.

Above are the most commonly found people in our daily lives, but what happens to them, why is that so they are naturally being attracted towards each of it? They run after it and for ever they run for it but never had it, like a person looking for love will always be there for looking for his or her love, a person running after money will forever chase the bills, and sufferers always suffers. Are we going some where wrong? Or what we think about the life and its Creator is somewhat different in any major aspect? These are the questions we have to search for the answers as soon as possible without looking for it because if you devote your self to search you will for ever search for it without gaining any thing. 

/Story of Hazar Shakal/

This place is so white, cold but very soothing too, he was thinking sitting on the bench seemed like in middle of no where still trying to remember from where he got there. “I was walking and then walking” he remembered only the last few seconds, “where am I?” questioned loudly, a sudden voice from a person sitting just next to him said: “its Soul’s World”

“You were not here when I came, you just appeared” he added, “I am keeper” he answered with politeness.

A sudden siren rocked him “what was that?”

“It’s siren, gates are open Hazar shakal”

“What?”

“That is your name” responded keeper and continued further “God gives a special name to every soul He creates, He gave you name Hazar Shakal”.

“Now you must go before gates are closed for next 3 light years”

“What is light year?” Hazar shakal asked intensely

“It’s beyond understanding, you will never understand- - - - - - Go! And get your piece of akal (intellect) from that place”

“Intellect?”

“Dear you are a confused soul, every one is, don’t worry, trust me get your intellect and you will understand every thing, and don’t forget to say these lines after you get your akal:

There is no god but God; He is a solemn and only creator who fashioned my soul with His divine spark and my living abode (body) with clay”

Finally Hazar shakal entered through main gate, the view in front of him was empty and hollow filled with white smoke, he tried to search any thing that could led him to the distributor of akal, his soul was becoming more and more restless as he was stepping forward.

Suddenly he saw a white door with silver lock door; he opened the door and got in there. After a long silence he heard voice: “welcome Hazar shakal”

It was some kind of subtle image in solid shiny confinement, he was confused, and that subtle thing was intimating each and every movement of him.

“Mirror” said image of him from mirror and continued further “it’s you in it and this room is your house for next few days and there are some rules:

1-      Door can not be unlocked from inside; it will open when your time will be over.

2-      This room will float either to heaven or hell, if your thoughts are wrong room will open to hell when your time is over and heaven if your thoughts are right.

3-      This is your WORLD.

“I thought world would be somewhat grand type thing”

“For your image it is big but in reality its not”

“Where is my akal?” asked Hazar shakal to his image

“Dear you think you would be able to talk to yourself without akal?”

“What?” for a second he started feeling cold and then swift of heat ran through out his little house,

His image said to him at precise time: “Come on say those words hurry up”.

He spoke: There is no god but God; He is a solemn and only creator who fashioned my soul with His divine spark and my living abode (body) with clay.

“Congratulations to you, finally you born”  

“I am feeling so warmth” added Hazar shakal  

“Warmth of love it is my friend” said the image “it is your first love”,” you have to take care of her when she grows old and you’ll be in youth, she is your mother”- - - - “Only heaven God created in World”. 

  (Life is the most spectacular show on Earth)        

Hoshruba Zindigy scene 1

Amazing day:

I was walking on the road in area of Clifton, time I guess it was noon 1pm, exactly you can say defense area, and you must be thinking right now that wtf I was doing there? And believe me after an hour when I reached home via bus (1-D), I was exactly thinking the same “WTF”.

  I was sitting in the bus horizontal seat attach to the gate…crap crap crap .. . Jump to the main scene:

Let’s start again: Four very charming and handsome guys got into the bus, one sat just next to me and other three at next empty seats, ok fine every thing was going fine but something I was not sure about because my inner senses were at unrest, I was listening ipod, song “bhaag DK Bose”, and then he just tapped on my shoulder, yeah the guy sitting just next to me, total stranger, yes?? I answered awkwardly, he asked 2 simple questions :

1-      Are you rehman?

2-      Do you work in MCB?

My name is imran and I am a student, so I said to him “No! I am not Rehman”.

“Ok!! Actually we are here to Kill you” he said these words to me.

What what wha wha wha what??? ? ???*&%*^&$&&*@*@@&&#& (my mind stopped working)

He further said: “we are contractors, we are paid to kill you”

Who the fuckin* hell paid to kill me ??????? (I didn’t say it to him, my whole body was paralyzed)

“Wait, I have to think”, it only took 3 seconds to think about what was unthinkable for me. “Ok! I have a situation:

1-      The guy next to me want to kill me

2-      These guys are armed

3-      And, I am not Sultan Rahee

“What the third point?” I asked my self:” Are you serious? Is this a time for making jokes??”

Ok! Replace it: “RUN!!!!!”

Contractor continued: Are you seeing that White Hi-roof following our bus? That is ours.

A nice piece of information he gave to me, I took two seconds now to re think:

1-      The guy next to me want to kill me

2-      These guys are armed

3-      I can’t Run

4-      They are professionally competent people.

5-      And, I am in deep shit.

Then they asked for my cell phone, I hurriedly with no delay gave it to him, he saw it and gave back to me and said: we are not thieves, we not snatch mobiles, and it’s not our business

And suddenly a song’s lyrics stricken in my head : bhaag dk bose dk bhaag aandhy aayi aandhi aayi bhaag bhaag,

Abey I can’t (nahi bhaag sakta dk bose)

In short I was trapped, before getting in to this situation I was thinking about my life, a life I was completely frustrated about, my sad love story, I didn’t get her, why is this so ? why didn’t I get her?

And now my mind said something extraordinary to me: “beep beep just keep aside all the crap about love and girl, just concentrate on how to get out of it alive” (abbey beep beep, bachy wacchy ko side me rakh filhaal concentrate kar k saala zinda kese bacha jae)

And I played my trump card and that was: GOD HELP ME!!!!!!

And that assassin asked me for debit card, “I don’t have it one” I replied (one more negative, I thought)

“You not that person we are looking for” killers told and me I finally get to life.

And then on next step they just disappeared, of course they told me not to see them while they leave, and I obeyed them.

To be continued. … .. ..

Hoshruba Zindigy

Neither the life has been fully understood; in contemplation to insanely called mystics it’s all about flow of energy from a universal source to its beneficiary and returning back.

I was in school back in 1990’s when everything were so slow, you can actually sense the time floating in front of you, playing in ground in lunch time, falling on concrete made floor having cuts and bleeding seemed to be the only worst pain in the world, definitely the definition of pain changed later on, then oh my goodness how can I forget about the incomplete home works? A worst nightmare for student like me, I was not a high achiever, actually I never thought of it that’s why I couldn’t be a high achiever?, but a sober guy with lot of shyness never looked at any body for revenge, didn’t even care who’s coming first or second, I have came school because I have sent here, school was all again my life end, I didn’t even imagined that school some day will going to be finished one day. Then I was promoted to class 6^th, wow! Whole new world, new campus with more seniors, seniors we looked upon, they were in 10^th standard always wanted to reach there and experience how exactly it feels like being seniors.      




(to be continued: http://shahzadrupani.blogspot.com/2011/08/floating-destiny.html )